Tiny Tim

Was out quoting again yesterday - asphalt drives - got the usual collection - skinny, shitkickin' blokes with greasy hair , mousey moustaches,and rotten teeth, plus fat tarts in big T-shirts with giant tits, fags hanging outta they're mouths , and fuck all to say about anything. Well , other than the odd comment about someone or other who " thinks they're shit don't stink"because they politely asked for jimmy barnes to be turned down a couple of notches at 4 am , or when asked if she'd be paying in cash, "whaddaya reckon , I'm gonna pull it outta me fuckin' arse ? " this all punctuated with bouts of flicking dead fags onto the road , and gobbing into the garden - a phlegmatic phleb? . "I've always wanted asphalt" - talk about dreaming low - I thought little girls dreamed of lemonade fountains, fairy floss skies, and knights on white horses? Imagine this little girl - 30 years ago - all tucked up in her fluffyness ,thumb in mouth, meandering through the teddybear scape on a blacktop drive, twinkle toeing through the tar - thinking one day I'll have my very own black shit asphalt . Realised I'd discovered a whole new sub species -felt like an anthropologist,was quite excited . Now I'm trying to invent a knew acronym - CUPs - Cashed Up Phlebs -doesn't quite cut it - TuLiPs - Temporarily Loaded Phleb Shitkickers is more like it - a marketing mans dream - they've got a windfall from somewhere - either someone' s died or they've mortgaged the house , or robbed a TAB ,and they just wanna blow the dough - on anything - my job I suppose is to relieve 'em of the cash before they invest it at the pokies- sort of tiptoe through the tulips.