"sept : 4 : base camp : 0.00 kms Turned out at 600 am for another day of preparations ,located a spirit cooker today, after testing it proved to be a very efficient unit - should hold us in good stead - we ordered 2 more to be picked up on weds, we shall have three - Watters insists on this - he says it would be a folly to scimp on the cooking department and I tend to believe the fellow. I find myself admiring Watters for his tenacity and good spirits. 6 sleeps to go."

boofhead

Was yapping to my mate yesterday, or maybe aquaintance is a better word ?Anyway he's in Kuala Lumpa on hols, I asked him what its like and he told me how nice and clean it is. hahaha I laughed, I thought if thats the best you can come up with next time just look up who won the tidiest town award and go there . Thats why people go to Mcdonalds - the toilets are so 'clean' - doesn't matter how much blood and guts has been spilled ,land raped etc to knock up the cheese burgers - as long as were keeping boofheads fed

the new Eltham

they reckon Wandong is the new Eltham - I read once that Eltham was known as an artists retreat, well as far as I can tell Wandong is more like a piss artists retreat

tattered,ratted,matted, swaggy blanket. fire without heat. lamp without light. plane without wings.shoes without a soul. kicked head , boots without a soul. wheels without caps . caps without flaps. unfolded maps .chrome taps and silver traps .drips that don't drop. dinner without a plate. car without wheels. bike without pedals. knife without a handle cuts like . a kettle boiled dry. a topless table and a topless table top dancer. strange magic . charged caustic. gawking at the sun. dead metaphors.life like a lighted candle, death a burnt match. gurgling. broken nails scratching window panes. bent nails. sharpened nails. seeing noises , hearing colours.hearing voices .a ball without bearings. a shout without shape . out of shape sheep. stagger over twisted metal on broken ankles. shards of coloured glass. broken bottles. ribbons of steel. wire . razorblades, ribbons of twisted steel . razor without a blade . moustache without a face . a bag without tea . a haggard bag .haggard handbag. haggard handleless handbag. an apple without a core. a pencil without a point . a brush without a heart. heart without a start. heart without a beat . dance without a drum .drum without a beat. beatnik without an eggflip. eggflip in a spaceship.time without a face. spinning wheels of metaphor. sparkling strings of light. stripes of white light licking the night .rapid fire.painters meet between the sheets hanging lace curtains in a pig pen. theyre particular sea of expertise

trucky love

Met this girl , she ran away with a road professional, you know one of them blokes that drive the big rigs with all the buttons and lights - sort of like aeroplanes ,but you only have to pass year 7 to drive them , you only earn about 500 bucks a week, and they don't fly - except when they're hurtling off bridges on a speed bender. Anyway she ran off with a trucky - broke my heart, busted my balls -we were gonna be 'different' - we were gonna get tattoo's - she was gonna scroll my name on her hole , I was gonna scroll hers on my pole - she was my bike , my ride, I was skating . Now where there was light, there's dark, and I can only see noises, and hear pain -like a toothache at a disco, so I had to write a little number about it.

Rollin' on a bobtail , tuggin' on a coatrail ,
trucky love
Circlin' in the park , spotlightin' in the dark ,
trucky love Bluey , macka , jacka , any fuckin' whacka ,
trucky love
Blah , blah , with the tarts , pissed as a bull 'n' playin' darts,
trucky love
Bustin' down the alleyway, sneakin' down the hallway,
trucky love
Scootin' down the road, deliverin' a load ,
trucky love
pokie highways in the sky, lookin' blindness in the eye,
trucky love
Polyester onto steel , greasy mitts steal a feel,
trucky love
Fumblin' down tracky pants, grindin' rednecked romance,
trucky love
Kickin' goals through poles, slippin' poles into holes,
trucky love
Blue balls shiftin' gear , beer bubbles in your ear,
trucky love
Spinnin' stubby metophor, bangin' on a forty four
trucky love
Smokey rays of moon beam, hard against the windscreen
trucky love
Overdrive steels your brain, puffin' , pumpin' steam train,
trucky love trucky love
Trailer load of pork, uncorked by her fork,
trucky love
Gruntin' at the moon , shootin' way too soon
trucky love

Tiny Tim

Was out quoting again yesterday - asphalt drives - got the usual collection - skinny, shitkickin' blokes with greasy hair , mousey moustaches,and rotten teeth, plus fat tarts in big T-shirts with giant tits, fags hanging outta they're mouths , and fuck all to say about anything. Well , other than the odd comment about someone or other who " thinks they're shit don't stink"because they politely asked for jimmy barnes to be turned down a couple of notches at 4 am , or when asked if she'd be paying in cash, "whaddaya reckon , I'm gonna pull it outta me fuckin' arse ? " this all punctuated with bouts of flicking dead fags onto the road , and gobbing into the garden - a phlegmatic phleb? . "I've always wanted asphalt" - talk about dreaming low - I thought little girls dreamed of lemonade fountains, fairy floss skies, and knights on white horses? Imagine this little girl - 30 years ago - all tucked up in her fluffyness ,thumb in mouth, meandering through the teddybear scape on a blacktop drive, twinkle toeing through the tar - thinking one day I'll have my very own black shit asphalt . Realised I'd discovered a whole new sub species -felt like an anthropologist,was quite excited . Now I'm trying to invent a knew acronym - CUPs - Cashed Up Phlebs -doesn't quite cut it - TuLiPs - Temporarily Loaded Phleb Shitkickers is more like it - a marketing mans dream - they've got a windfall from somewhere - either someone' s died or they've mortgaged the house , or robbed a TAB ,and they just wanna blow the dough - on anything - my job I suppose is to relieve 'em of the cash before they invest it at the pokies- sort of tiptoe through the tulips.

SHITACRE

Obergruppenfuhrer Steven O'frost created Shitacre in 2001 with a little help from his now dead father Untergruppenfuhrer Trevor O'frost - who hopefully with his brother, SS captain Bob O'frost , is keeping an eye on things from here to the stars.
Shitacre was originally concieved as as a haven for the sensative and artistic, but has moved with the times and now become a retreat for the work shy, the recently kicked out by the little lady, the committment phobic,the drunken bum, and the odd scattered lunatic.
Shitacre provides a unique and peacefull location to enjoy lifes little pleasures, and with the guidance of the Obergruppenfuhrer you can take the time to be kind to your mind, and unwind.
How about a splashing down a few suds in the spa ? Or maybe getting tanked outta your tiny mind by our unique wood fired pizza oven? Or does passing out pissed in a spreading puddle of your own piss appeal ? How about crashing headlong through Shitacre's landscaped gardens with the grace and artistry of a 14 yo Russian prima ballerina? Or vomiting into one of our leather lounge suites with the vacant stare of the don't know where?